Four Steps to Healthy Goal Setting

Many people set wonderful New Year’s resolutions to be healthier and happier. But by March, those resolutions are often forgotten or de-prioritized. What happened? 

Obviously it’s different for everyone, but what I’ve noticed over the years is that New Year’s resolutions are commonly aimed at making us “better” than we currently are. They often depend of willpower to get us there. We can get caught up in dreams of the destination, all while dreading the months it might take to achieve a goal.  

I recently participated in a panel about healthy goal setting with Grace Thompson and Pooja Virani. We each shared our unique perspectives on the topic. Here is my take on what healthy goal setting and resolutions looks like: 

Healthy goals are ones that promote our core values while bringing us some sense of momentum.  They are manageable and realistic, providing us with ample opportunities to celebrate ourselves and be flexible with our expectations. 

Below are four steps towards building your own healthy, lasting goals:

1. Understanding your intentions

When I started my meditation practice several years ago, my intention was to be less anxious. I had an image of who I would be if I could just meditate away the anxiety. I quickly learned that my anxiety would not be so easily banished. I could have given up then. Thankfully, I didn’t. After a handful weeks of noticing my anxiety every morning, I started to greet it. “Good morning Anxiety,” became a part of my daily practice. In doing this my intention shifted from a future without anxiety to a present where I could be kind to my anxious self. This was much more in line with my value of being compassionate.

Take a moment to reflect on recent goals you’ve set for yourself. How do your goals connect you to the present moment? How does your intention reflect your values?

2. Start Small

Working towards healthy goals also means starting small. Setting achievable goals and celebrating them builds momentum and reduces beating yourself up. My favorite example is a client who wanted to build the habit of going to the gym.  He was already paying for a gym membership, but never went. I asked him what starting small would look like. He said it would mean using the gym’s hot tub! Every day he went straight from work, got changed in the locker room, and hung out in the hot tub. Once he had those rituals established, he started doing some stretches beforehand, and eventually worked up to using some of the machines. Each day he walked through the gym doors was a victory and he celebrated it with a soak! 

I love this example because the client was able to start exactly where he was in the present. He had been trying for months to exercise after work, but he couldn’t stick with it. His excitement wouldn’t last. Plus, expecting himself to do full workouts made it hard to get started. Instead of looking to an ideal future self, he thought about who he was that day. He thought about what would make him feel good and what would feel manageable.

Small goals also invite us to celebrate each of our successes. It may seem silly to set a goal of literally taking one step out your front door in the morning, setting the alarm clock for 5 minutes earlier, or reading 2 pages of a book before bed. The truth is, each of these “mini goals” is more than you would do if you were beating yourself or had given up on your resolutions. Feeling good about a little win makes it easier to imagine yourself building to the next step.

3. Enthusiasm, not willpower, is the key to achieving healthy goals

Think about a time when you did something challenging, but you felt deeply motivated. The feeling that kept you going might have been enthusiasm. As an example, I work with many clients who want to build a regular yoga practice. The clients who maintain motivation are ones who find something in yoga that they connect with; something to be enthusiastic about. 

We capture enthusiasm by finding ways to love the process rather than focusing on the outcome. Loving the process includes finding smaller aspects of the habit that you really enjoy. For some yogis-to-be, they really love the feeling of practicing. For others, that’s not enough to capture the kind of enthusiasm we’re talking about. Some find teachers they really like, make yoga class a social experience, or listen to music that gets them in the right mood.  Anything that’s going to get you a little more excited about what you’re doing is great.  

Enthusiasm also comes from seeing ourselves as aligned with our values. This ties back in with intention. A client might say to themselves, “I am a person who does yoga, now.” In that, they are also saying, “I am a person who values movement and taking care of my body,” or “I am a person who takes time out for myself.” When we can say these things about ourselves and they feel true, we are building enthusiasm. 

We are also practicing self-compassion. Enthusiasm is all about what feels good and exciting.  When we use that to drive our goals and habits, we are practicing listening to bodies. If enthusiasm is lost, it’s a sign that we need to adjust.

4. Anticipate Obstacles

One last important step in healthy goal setting is to prepare for obstacles. We know that obstacles will come up, so why not plan for them? What will you do on days when you have less time? How will you manage changes in weather? What about when you travel or have other changes to your routine? These can all be important questions to consider. 

A common obstacle is falling out of a habit and struggling to get back into it. Of course there will be days, weeks, or even months, when you don’t work towards your goals. Often self-judgment is the biggest obstacle to keeping that momentum going. Self-judgment can look like disappointment when we break a habit and self-blame that gets in the way of starting again. Self-judgment can also be inflexibility when we need to adapt our habits and goals to meet the needs of the moment. Self-kindness is the key to trying again. It’s ok to make mistakes, break a routine, or lose interest.  And it’s ok to come back to the goal and try again as many times as you need.

As we enter spring, a time of renewal, it is an opportunity to renew our goals. I invite you to go through these questions for yourself. How is my goal’s intention connected to my values? What are the small steps I can take and celebrate? Where do I find enthusiasm in this process? How can I approach obstacles with self-compassion?

I want to thank Grace and Pooja for their insights and inspiring me to put this together! You can find our more about them here:

Pooja Virani (https://www.poojavirani.com/painfree), pain-free movement specialist and social justice consultant on a mission to spread joy, foster equality, and help people reach their highest potential.

Grace Thompson (@embody_puregrace, @embodyfitdc), personal trainer whose mission is to help people live and move easier in this moment.